R U OK? Day

A simple question can open the door to an important conversation. This R U OK? Day, learn how to check in, listen without judgement, offer meaningful support and make space to ask yourself, “How am I really going?”

Rocco Pellegrino - 10/09/2026

3 min read

R U OK? Day 2026: A Conversation Can Make a Difference

R U OK? Day 2026 — Thursday, 10 September

Sometimes, we notice that someone we care about does not seem quite like themselves.

They may be quieter than usual, withdrawing from other people, appearing overwhelmed or simply giving us the sense that something is not quite right. We might want to check in, but hesitate because we are unsure what to say, or worry that we will make things worse.

The good news is that you do not need to have the perfect words. A simple, genuine question can open the door to an important conversation.

“Are you OK?”

R U OK? Day is an annual reminder to check in with the people around us. More importantly, it reminds us that these conversations can happen on any day of the year.

Starting the conversation

You do not need to be a mental health professional to ask someone how they are going. You simply need to be willing to notice, ask and listen.

You might say:

“You haven’t seemed quite yourself lately. How are you going?”
“I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter than usual. Is everything OK?”
“It seems like things have been difficult recently. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m here if you’d like to talk, now or another time.”

Try to choose a time when you can give the person your attention without feeling rushed. A private, familiar setting may also make it easier for them to speak openly.

Not everyone will be ready to talk when we first ask. They may say they are fine, change the subject or need time to understand what they are feeling. Letting them know that the offer remains open can still be meaningful.

Listen without trying to fix everything

When someone opens up, it can be tempting to move quickly into problem-solving. We may offer advice because we care and want things to feel better for them.

However, advice is not always what the person needs first. Often, they need the experience of being heard, believed and taken seriously.

Try to:

Give them time to speak.
Listen without interrupting or judging.
Ask open questions such as, “What has that been like for you?”
Avoid minimising their experience or comparing it with someone else’s.
Reflect what you have heard.
Ask what kind of support would be most helpful.

You might respond with:

“That sounds really difficult.”
“It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“What would feel helpful from me right now?”

You do not need to have all the answers. Being calm, curious and present can be valuable in itself.

Keep checking in

A meaningful check-in rarely ends with one conversation.

If someone tells you they are struggling, contact them again. A simple message a few days later can show that your concern was genuine:

“I’ve been thinking about you. How are things going?”

You might also offer practical support, such as sitting with them while they make an appointment, helping them identify someone they trust or making time to do something together.

Supporting another person does not mean taking sole responsibility for their wellbeing. You can care about someone while also recognising the limits of what you can provide. If they need more support, encourage them to speak with a GP, psychologist or another appropriately qualified professional.

Check in with yourself, too

R U OK? Day is not only about noticing how other people are going. It can also be an invitation to pause and ask yourself:

How am I really going?

Perhaps you have been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, low, disconnected or exhausted. Maybe you are continuing to manage work, study, parenting or everyday responsibilities, but doing so is taking more effort than usual.

You do not need to wait until things become unbearable before asking for support.

Speaking with a psychologist can provide a confidential space to make sense of what you are experiencing, better understand your needs and develop practical ways to support your wellbeing.

A conversation is a beginning

At Affirmative Minds Psychology, we believe everyone deserves to feel heard, respected and supported.

This R U OK? Day, take a moment to check in with someone you care about. Ask genuinely. Listen without judgement. Stay connected after the conversation.

And remember to offer yourself that same care.

R U OK?

Affirmative Minds Psychology does not provide emergency or crisis support. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 000 or attend your nearest hospital emergency department. For immediate crisis support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Affirmative Minds Psychology

Affirming identities and amplifying voices for a brighter tomorrow.

Affirmative Minds Psychology is a neuro-affirming psychology clinic in Watsonia, offering counselling, therapy and assessments for children, teens, adults and families. We support clients across Bundoora, Greensborough, Macleod, Rosanna, Heidelberg, Viewbank and Melbourne’s northern suburbs. Services include ADHD assessment, Autism assessment, child psychology, adult psychology, couples counselling, cognitive testing and animal-assisted therapy.

Affirmative Minds Psychology acknowledges the Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung people as the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live. We pay our respects to their Elders past, present and emerging, and honour their continuing cultural and spiritual connection to the land, waters, and community.